Here (and gone)

You’re

here, you’re present, and the world’s just started –
clothes don’t fit anymore, you’ve
grown; the silhouette grows as seconds tick and days pass.
The world’s here – reality fluid as fantasies, and
curiosity sparked the landslide of furniture that
killed
the cat. You crawl, and you’re

walking, step by step, and time runs –
clothes don’t fit anymore, you’ve
grown; like a sprout, a growing shadow.
The world’s acting fickle, so you dream – and
dreams paint their own illusory
lights
and shades. You run, and you’re

in the running, reaching, nearly there (– right?)
Clothes don’t fit anymore, you’ve
grown; florid as carnations and tinkling with glass.
The world’s flying while you run and
life’s gliding snakelike, and you wish you could fly to
grasp
the ungraspable. You reach, and you’re

there (but where did you want to go?)
Clothes don’t fit anymore, you’ve
grown; a fruit or two, but you’d rather be a seed.
The world’s small now that you’re tall, too tall, and
life’s sweet as day lilies but you can’t find the scent
anymore
and night is coming. You wonder, and you’re

dreaming – of the past, and your eyes wander;
clothes don’t fit anymore, you’ve
grown; getting on, grown and fading.
The world’s salty like lacrimation and its tears bitter;
the sky cries for the forgotten, though the world spares
nobody
no tears. You blink, and you’re

Two cents of words

So the talk’s gone. Your promises still
echo (and your words still
overshadow), but there is no more;
a lie said and a lie more, a promise
broken and a promise less
but my devotion isn’t cheap( enough) and
my voice (broken) not on discount – my
words are reserved irrevocable and
my time is taken, though no
reservations are observed unfaithful (and
no words written). It’s
not so easy, not so easy to
put it away not so easy to
let it decay – and what has been
will be; we will
talk and look (ever feebly) still
with eyes unwept and
tears unbled.

But talk is cheap, dear
friend, and every day
empty words fly and
thoughts unvoiced die. We
say but we don’t
talk, and we
hear but we don’t
listen as wordless days run by.
Nights glance in passing, and the
forlorn wind murmurs, and I still say I’m okay –

but talk is cheap, dear
sister. Our speech is a dime a
dozen, our discussion
endless two cents –
promises (one too many) fly
right by, lies
tabled and truths
unwritten. Wordy vows
fade in time, sentence by metaphor –

but talk is cheap, dear
love, from endless verse to voiceless prose.
Your words – and my rhyme – are
worthless
alike; ink drowns us and paper mountains
butcher us, those ever restless blades.
There’s always something
more to say –

but talk is cheap, dear
stranger. The world’s a lie,
and soulless we wander (no
words, no paper); I’m no Cicero
and you’re no Austen, though
ink we spill and words we
waste. But no more; nothing will
out, for there’s nothing to say
anymore –
to the questions left unasked
are the answers left unspoken.

Chapter’s

I was duly reminded of this bookstore chain – a favourite in Canada. Think of it like Dymock’s or Ingido. Or a not-so-long-ago offline version of Amazon.com. It is this reminiscing that got me interested in tonight’s (or should I say this morning’s) reflectable.

Sometimes along the many travelled and less travelled paths of life, we need to learn to flip open a new page and start in a new place. Even if we don’t want to.

I don’t know if one day I’ll recover this and find how immature (or mature, possibly) I was to write this. But high school has been a very unique and non-generic experience for me, and I know it’s not going to be in the least bit…easy, to let go and move on to a different life.

The reason why I say this is simply because we are all going in many different directions, leaving behind nothing but the trust and belief that one day we will get back together as a graduating class and celebrate all that was experienced for the last seven years of our life (six for me, anyway). I’d like to see how, after we’ve all started a new chapter in our separate lives, often we can get together and let our younger years live on.

It’s been many a rough time, but to be honest, I wouldn’t have exchanged the experience at my high school for anything. Just a shoutout to all of you out there. Had fun, will always remember these times. Good times and bad times alike. It’s all part of the experience!

Challenged =)

No more

Just a little while ago it was here, and
just a little while ago I was here too – but
everything’s changed, the sands of time have shifted
like mud, and everything else comes and everything else
goes. Sodden feet tread worn, battered paths that
earthbound eyes see not anymore; and somewhere
the pen cries black blood for the forgotten, and
the sky cries downcast tears for what’s been
lost in history.

A pity.

Apology: əˈpɒl.ə.dʒɪ

When we do things we end up regretting, often times, we apologize.

There are two somewhat different definitions to apology itself. First, it can be a form of expressing regret after doing something that affects the feeling or wellbeing of others – the one we all care about. The other definition? An apology can also be a defense of sorts, kinda like a “why I’m doing this” argument. So which one is it when we apologize to someone after doing something wrong?

I challenge you to take a look next time you screw up – and when you eventually come to the apology stage, to take a good look at yourself. Which definition do you want to convey? You say…”of course, the first one”. So look yourself in the mirror and see which one it is that you’re really carrying out. Sometimes we perform the second definition when we apologize. “I’m sorry for doing blah blah blah to you, but you should really see it my way” – this could easily make matters worse, as you’ve probably experienced.

I would suppose you can see by now that a certain situation has arisen concerning me. It’s a very “oddball” post as my friend would say, and in a way, it is. Things have been done that yes, I do regret, but hey – regret is a part of life. I apologize, get up, dust myself off, and keep walking. That’s why I keep pushing life is so cool with bad times. If cars never crashed, they wouldn’t have all the safety features they’d have today. If all we did was avoid risks because we might regret it, we’re gonna become even worse than paranoid couch potatoes, too lazy and too scared to do absolutely anything.

What I’d like to show you tonight is that it doesn’t matter whether we fall. The important thing is that we know how to apologize – both ways. Not make others feel bad that we were actually inexplicably better (aka don’t sound like a snobbish retard), but more importantly, to be able to defend ourselves by picking ourselves up and continuing to walk the roads of life.

It’s never too late to apologize. Sorry OneRepublic.

Highway 401

Highway 401, also known as the McDonald-Cartier Freeway as it passes through metropolitan Toronto, is an extremely long and high-capacity paved highway extending from Windsor, Ontario (immediately across the border from Detroit) to the Ontario-Quebec border, becoming some Quebecois-named road before terminating in Montreal.

What’s so special about this particular highway, and why write about it? Well, it’s one of widest highways in the world, swelling up from a simple 2 lane rural road to an 18-lane, 4-section superhighway. It’s also notorious for numerous 50-car-plus pileups, due to its high capacity and speed. In fact, it’s become so bad on particular stretches of the highway that some have considered petitioning and requesting the provincial government to raise the speed limit from 100 km/h to 110-120 km/h to allow people to go faster. Average number of cars travelling throughout the 401: 430,000. During summertime? almost 500,000. That’s alot of cars =)

Sometimes, I feel that life can be that highway. It’s so wide, so busy, things travelling through it so quickly it’s impossible to grasp the sheer size and volume of every day, every minute. It’s impossible to savour. But in a way, it’s up to us to take the opportunity to try and catch whatever we can, and make the best out of it.

Maybe we don’t have 18 opportunities coming at us all at once, but everyone gets more chances than they deserve. What we do for them…well, that’s a different story.

So…how many shots do I get to call?

Humans have an amazing ability to look into a crowd and pick one, just one person, and get to know them more than you’d ever realize you possibly could know someone. Some say it’s like the “back of one’s hand”. Others suggest that it’s the “experience of a lifetime” understanding someone on such an intimate level. Still others, well, they have yet to feel this power. It’s jaw-dropping.

We hear countless stories of people falling for each other, so quickly, so intimately it feels impossible. In a way, I think it probably is. For some people anyway – people who’d rather take their time to sit back, observe, and as mentioned above, select just one person and make it happen. And in a way, it is this eternal “flame” (if I may be so rude as to reference music in this post) and state of permanent happiness that we secretly yearn for. Unless of course, all you’re interested in are one night stands, which are, to me anyway, completely odd considering love is…commonly thought…to be a prerequisite to anything more physical.

If we take a moment to think about it, love is all around us, yet in its own special way, it requires much more effort than simply doing your homework and asking questions in class. Music. Hollywood, Bollywood, Clearwater Bay (if you’re like me and live in HK), any film with a plot. Books. In what creative field is love not omnipresent? It’s so overly simplified – made into a template of sorts. Take this little thought from my friend the other day…not to say anything in particular about Taylor Swift or her music (to be honest, I’m a boy fan. Really, you’d better believe it.)…but I dare you to name a song she sings that isn’t about breakups or getting into relationships (thanks Ross). Can’t? Then keep thinking – what has the media made love?

And sometimes we have to walk off that path and get back to reality. Gotta understand for ourselves what it really means to be in love with someone, or something even. It’s never as easy as it seems – perhaps that’s why Facebook, in one of its earliest feature pack updates, included “It’s Complicated” as a relationship status. It’s impossible to describe any person’s romantic relationship in a couple of words. It’s never not complicated come to think of it. Everyone has their own story, their own handful (or in some cases, bucketful) of hardships to deal with. Perhaps this is what makes God laugh (thanks Delta Goodrem). But whatever it may be, it’s only through these that we can really feel what love is, and how happy one can be with it.

It may be that such a desire is simply not possible. It may be that the timing doesn’t feel right. It may be that a plethora of circumstances just…dictate that you can’t go for the one you’ve always wanted to. Sometimes, this may be true. But there’s nothing there to stop you from trying – even if it means feeling the bad side of the whole love story (heya Ms. Swift) before you get to see the brighter side of things.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to tell you never to experience it. In fact, I urge you to go do it – go fall in love, go love something, pick up a hobby, live your life as fully as you can. Once you feel it, you’ll never want to leave it. It does hurt, but in its own special, sweet way. And never, ever, ever, believe that you aren’t worth it, or that you probably will never get it. If you just sit here and do nothing, nothing will ever come into view.

Everyone has their value. Go find it, tap into it, and love someone for who they are, the whole set of characteristics – good and bad. It’s focusing on only one side that clouds the view. And to answer that question…you have all the shots. It’s up to you to call ‘em.

(Yea, this was a pretty heavy reflectable, but I felt like it. No you.)

Random fact of the day: You’re beautiful.

Mac vs PC – Part 2

So, in case you haven’t been following, yesternight’s reflectable was on why I think Apple beats PC’s. In order to ensure I can deliver the “Linux is best” punchline in a couple days, I’m going to be fair and say why I think some people may prefer to continue (or switch…although I find that profoundly stupid) to use Windows.

I know I am incorrectly interchanging PC with Windows, even though this is not the truth. But sometimes, you gotta please the masses, and let’s be honest here…PC is a much better synonym for Windows than Something That Crashes Every Two Days…

Why Windows is better than Mac

• Reason 1: Gaming
  You can’t really game on a Mac. Although I thoroughly sense that this is changing, and fast, since many of the more popular games are now releasing both Mac and PC versions simultaneously, the truth is, the gaming industry continues to be much more focused on the PC community. Many very good games just simply never get ported over. And even if they do, games as prominent as Spore (EA) aren’t natively Mac. Sure, you could try CrossOver, or if you’re a *nix user, Wine, but obviously, if you were a true gamer, you’d probably choose PC over Mac anyday…for now.
• Reason 2: Hardware Management
  Perhaps it’s just the fact that Windows has never really gotten anything to work well with it. Apple ensures all essential hardware is shipped with the computer it makes, so it’s excused from many deadly hardware configurations that could easily corrupt Windows installations. Linux…well, Linux is Linux. Things just work better with it. Having said that, you gotta give Microsoft at least a short round of applause for improving that situation by leaps and bounds, especially if you’ve gotten your hands on a copy of the Windows 7 RC. It’s quite an astonishing feat to have gone from conference-time bluescreening to the new hardware management centre. Driver installation is much smooth, Firewire and Bluetooth, both seamless Linux & Mac connections, are now almost as seamless in Windows too. Congrats Microsoft, this is one stumbling block you’ve jumped right over.

I would think of a third reason, but…I can’t. And I have school tomorrow. Nope, no classes, just some last bits – administrative stuff, moving off to uni introductions and whatnot. I think it’s pretty clear that for consumer use, I’d recommend Mac pretty much to anyone unless they’re an extreme (and by that I mean extreme) gamer, or they’re so computer illiterate that introducing them to a new OS would cause a paradigm shift in the world.

Until next time … (I might update sometime early tomorrow, I don’t know, so stay tuned!)

Mac vs PC – Part 1

I really have heard enough of this to be able to make my own argument, one for each side. Tonight, I’m gonna do the Mac side of things first. It’s easier to argue for anyway.

To me, there are two main types of computer users. The techies (me included) – people who are familiar enough with the interface to understand its limitations, and general consumers – people who use computers for a purpose. XD

Before I actually delve into why one should opt for Apple computers over Windows brands, I’ll let you in on a little secret. If you have been a Windows user for most if not all your life, with little or no experience on Mac, Linux or a non-Windows operating system, you could be in for a shock when you change. Mac OS X is radically different from how Windows works, and it will take some serious time and effort to switch.

Having gotten that over with, it’s time to begin the debate.

Why Mac is better than Windows (I say Windows because PC’s include Linux, and clearly, it trumps all)

• Reason 1: It doesn’t come loaded with useless software that you never asked for.
  Whenever you buy a brand-name PC (not one you assemble yourself), chances are, it comes with a ridiculous amount of well…crap. Sure, the 6-month antivirus could come useful (see reasons below why it really isn’t), but seriously, who still uses Nero or Microsoft Works (which, by the way, is an oxymoron)? People want alternatives, not being stuck with the same mediocre software that they never asked to be installed on their computers. To make matters worse, PC makers plaster stickers all over their computers. WHY? Answer: these software and hardware companies subsidize the computer maufacturer, so they can lower the price of the computer – why PC’s seem to sell cheaper than Macs. Apple on the other hand handles the hardware and software, which means it comes with software loaded on it that is usable and to be honest, is nothing more than what Windows by itself as a software has. iTunes -> WMP, iPhoto -> WL Gallery, iChat -> Messenger, you get the point. The whole iLife suite is just what Windows has, available as a separate package at the Apple Store.
• Reason 2: The Dock
  I can’t even begin to tell you how annoyed I get at people whose PC desktops look more like a jungle than what it’s supposed to be – clean, with a at least somewhat visible background wallpaper. Having downloaded files (sometimes complete with embarrassing file names projected onto a screen), shortcuts, document folders, installation icons plastered all over the place renders the whole “clean” concept moot. Mac on the other hand, this is much easier to handle, as your files are easily accessible in Finder, anything can actually be searched in Spotlight with accurate results returned within seconds, and of course, the Dock, where programs you use for 90% of the time can be stored. There aren’t that many anyway. It’s a much better way of organizing things as a searchable, directory-based structure (Mac puts all Applications in well…the Applications folder. You can’t change that) rather than in a four-columned Start Menu. The equivalent of the Start Menu in Mac, the Apple Menu, is for system operations, such as computer information (Properties, or ‘Get Info’ as on the Mac, is actually for file information. Not finding out how much RAM you have), software update, and shutdown or logout procedures – as it should be.
• Reason 3: Spotlight
  When was the last time you used Windows search, typed a search term, and have good results returned to you within 30 seconds? Or for Windows Vista or Windows 7 users, the same thing, but from the searchbar on the Start Menu? What was that, did you say “never”? Great, me neither. But let me introduce you to spotlight. It is pure genius. I can’t remember where I read the article, but the author of that article helped write code for a search application on Mac servers way back when, which eventually became Spotlight, available on all Macs. It returns blazingly-fast and awesomely accurate results. I get pleasantly surprised every time I use it. It’s so good, I almost never have to go into the App folder to launch programs that aren’t on my Dock – just type and hit Enter.
• Reason 4: Securiy
  This is more applicable to techies, but everyone would benefit from reading it. Nothing beats a solid Unix base. Sure, it’s not a 100% failsafe system, but it’s definitely better than Windows Defender, Firewall and Security Centre everyday. Being a security-based system, any essential services that are changed in Mac OS X needs your permission to continue – by asking for your password. Having said that, it isn’t like in Vista or Windows 7 where the screen dims, takes up ridiculously large amounts of RAM, and asks you whether or not you can do something as simple as change a setting, delete a file or whatnot. It’s smart enough to distinguish between human and computer. Unlike Windows.

Seems that Mac is better eh? We’ll see…I have my Windows reflectable tomorrow. Although I highly doubt it beats Mac. Still, Linux for the win (that’s Part 3 btw).

Untitled

Flowers in a field, dancing
day and night—a yearly
ritual where they: roses, tu
lips, camellias red
and white
stand, bow, stir, flutter, whirling in tune with the
gentle music of the wind.
A tarantella of
flora, a promise of
life; moving once, budging
twice, and

fading away as quickly
as they used to sway—
beauty ephemeral.

How can one recreate
the resplendence of a
flower? Golden petals and
silver leaves on a
copper-stained twig—ornate,
crafted splendor. An
enduring imitation
paraded,
flaunted around
to women and men
(too old, but then)
who gaze upon its
ageless elegance. A
charm that dies no more.

But! It dances
not, it cries
not; bees come
not, rabbits care
not. A cold hard blossom.
No he, no she.
Still, men and women (too blind,
too desperate) will worship
regardless.

Time flies. Sand dunes
come, sand dunes
go, the world shifts
endless
ly as autumns fly and winters snow.

The metal flower retains its
charm (that dies
no more)—
tarnished. But that
does not matter
now. Life is easy to
revive—some time, some
money ought, because
maintenance can be always
bought. Women and men (now here, now gone)
look on, hiding, while the monument stays,
stoic, uncaring, snow or sleet;
a lifeless blossom
(that dies no more).

Spring comes; the cold takes its leave, and
yet the metallic stem stands
rigid, the petals unflinching—some discoloring
(and we’ve all learnt to be color blind).
Life goes on. People
walk on. Nothing feels
wrong, and

unnoticed, grass grows;
unnoticed, a flower bud
blooms again, vibrant and
lively, welcomed by none. Perhaps
someday,
somewhere,
somebody will find the
fleeting charm
of a flower,
and so will the winds whisper and passing leaves
wonder: would he forget (and would she
remember)
this beauty ephemeral?