I was presented with a rather disturbing yet comforting thought today.
“How do you talk to someone about something, when that something concerns the person you want to talk to?”
More precisely, what happens when the only person you know you can talk freely to about your feelings so happens to be the one your feelings are about? It certainly is an odd thing, isn’t it?
I mean, it’s not like you can just go into third person with either party and just hope they won’t notice. Especially if they already know you harbour such feelings for them. You can’t just say something along the lines of…
So there’s this girl…I just can’t stop thinking about her. She has these amazing, beautiful eyes. And oh, when she talks…I can remember everything she says, so vividly, even after months and months of having told it to me. I read, reread and read again everything she’s ever sent to me, texts, emails, IM convos.
You get the point. So what is it that keeps us going? Perseverence? Fear? Jealousy?
To be honest, I can’t really put my finger on it. She shares so much with me, and we’re such cool friends. Let’s tie some things together. When is it friendship, when is it infatuation, and when is it love? Such a simple question. So hard to answer. Especially when they all roll into the same thing.
You can’t tell someone that they’re beautiful who doesn’t think of themselves as someone capable of being so. You can’t tell someone all the wonderful things you want to do with them and in their life when they don’t feel the same way. It’s even harder to stop these feelings.
So I leave you with a parting thought: Is love an extension of friendship, or is it the other way around? Or better yet, is it both?
She does have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. Her laugh is so simple, so light. When she talks, it’s as if all the background radio chatter clears itself up and all you hear is … her. Those dreams, those stories, those ups and downs we shared with one another. Is it too good to just be discarded and thrown upon? Or is it the salt of my life, the thing that gives flavour to my days and keeps them fresh?
gizgiz
lightninghell
